A lot of blind jokes. Have a great laugh reading all our jokes about blind, blindness and blind people.
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, “What are you doing?!!” The blind man replies, “Just looking around.”
Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Woods turns to Wonder and
says,
“How’s the singing career going?”
Stevie Wonder replies, “Not too bad. How’s the golf?”
Woods replies, “Not too bad, I’ve had some problems with my swing, but I
think I’ve got that going right now.”
Stevie says, “I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to
stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I
play, it seems to be all right.”
Tiger says, “You play golf?”
Wonder says, “Oh, yes, I’ve been playing for years.”
Woods says, “But you’re blind! How can you play golf if you can’t see?”
Wonder replies, “I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway
and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball
toward him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to
the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball toward
his voice.”
“But how do you putt?” asks Woods.
“Well,” says Stevie, “I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole
and call to me with his head on the ground, and I just play the ball
toward his voice.”
Woods asks, “What’s your handicap?”
Stevie says, “Well, I’m a scratch golfer.”
Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, “We’ve got to play a round
sometime.”
Wonder replies, “Well, people don’t take me seriously, so I only play
for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole.”
Woods thinks about it and says, “OK, I’m game for that, when would you
like to play?”
Stevie says, “Pick a night.”
Question : How did a blind man drive his car?
Answer : One hand on the wheel
Q: Why was a blind man’s leg wet?
A: Her dog was blind too.
A blind man was waiting to cross the road when a dog stopped and cocked its leg against him.
The blind man felt in his pocket for a sweet, bent down, and offered it to the dog.
A passerby remarked what a very kind act that was considering what the dog had done.
Not at all, said the blind man. I only wanted to find out which end to kick.
