A lady called a neighbor to extend birthday greetings in a song. After she sang “Happy Birthday,” she realized that she had dialed the wrong number.

“No need to excuse yourself,” said the voice on the other line. “You need all the practice you can get.”

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?  He sold his soul to Santa…..

Delmer: How’d you like the play last night over at the high school?

Parley: I only seed the first act, but not the second.

Delmer: Why didn’t you stay?

Parley: I couldn’t wait that long. It said on the program, Two Years Later

Wyatt, Milford and Calhoun were standing one on top of the other trying to measure a flag pole.

A man passing by yelled up to them,

Why don’t you guys just take down the pole, lay it down on the ground and measure it?

We don’t wanna measure the length, mister! Wyatt sneered. We wanna measure the height!